Is This Negativity Okay?

Q: For the last two years, I have lost all interest in spiritualism. However, I am experiencing extreme negativity and finding fault with everyone. I am noticing my mind is very afraid of losing its identity and as a result, is dissatisfied with everything and is threatened by everything.

This is making me lose interest in all people because it seems like every person is in a better state than me. Never felt like this before. The negativity is eating this mind up.

What does this mean? I am not interested in even making any effort towards removing this negativity. Just staying with it. Don’t know if it is good or not. Should I do anything?

A: I am really intrigued with your comment: “I am not interested in even making any effort towards removing this negativity.” Wow! This is really it.

If you are saying, you realize nothing will really change if you remove the negativity, then this is the peace we’re talking about. If you remove the negative thoughts, will it change anything at all? No. It will only be the end of some thoughts, which will be replaced by some other thoughts: maybe happy, positive ones! And so what!

However, you do say the negativity is eating the mind up. You ask me if you should do anything, and since there really isn’t anything you can do, I’d say, no. You’re watching it unfold, and this phase will shift and become something else. You are watching yourself react negatively, but you are seeing that those reactions don’t change anything. You are seeing that your feelings are not important.

There is nothing wrong with having negative thoughts. Everyone does. There is nothing wrong with finding fault with everyone. It’s pretty typical human behavior. I’m sure you also have positive thoughts at times, about other things. We all have positive and negative thoughts. One of the negative thoughts you have is, “The negativity is eating this mind up.” It’s just another unimportant, negative thought, and it will shift to a different thought. It’s not there 100% of the time.

You say your mind is afraid of losing its identity. Again, not all the time. Sometimes you are enjoying your kids and husband, enjoying being alive, your activities, your surroundings. So the thought that “the mind is afraid” doesn’t need to be given any weight. The next thing you know, it changes to “Wow, this coffee tastes great.” It’s always changing.

When we go back to the one “bad seed” thought over and over, and repeat it, and add more thoughts to it, and make a big screenplay out of it, then it takes on a life of its own. It’s about “you” and failure and enlightenment and jealousy and negativity and the mind’s identity crisis. Some dramatic plot, huh? Yes! And it’s all just a big story made from thoughts piling on.

So you’re okay. You don’t have to do anything. You are already just watching. Watch it unfold. Maybe the negative thoughts will decrease in frequency. Maybe they will still arise a lot, but with the volume turned way down, so you don’t notice them, and instead you notice the peaceful space within which they arise. This seems to be the case for you, actually. You hear the thoughts, but they are not very loud. That’s how it is for me, too.